Fun Corner

The Best Way to Raise a Delinquent Child

After making a study of juvenile delinquency, the police department of Houston, Texas, issued a leaflet containing 12 rules on "How to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent." They are:

Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.
Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him decide for himself.
Avoid the use of the word "wrong". It may develop in the child a "guilt complex." This will prepare him to believe that when he is punished later for stealing cars or assaulting women, society is "against him" and that he is being persecuted.
Pick up everything after him: his shoes, his books, his clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing his responsibilities on others.
Let him read anything he wants. Have no concern whatever for what goes into his mind. Be careful that the silver and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
Quarrel frequently in the presence of your child. Then he will not be shocked if the home is broken up later.
Give a child all the spending money he wants; never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?
Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
Take his part against policemen, teachers, and neighbors. They are all prejudiced against your child.
When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

Kids Jokes

Baby Jokes

Why don’t parents ever trust their babies? Because they cry and poop their pants!
What’s a baby’s favourite type of key? A coo-key!
Why did the baby cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!

Toddler Jokes

How do you make a toddler laugh on Saturday? Tell them a joke on Wednesday!
What do you call a toddler running towards you with a cheese grater? A grate threat!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many little problems, just like my toddler.

Pre-schooler Jokes

How do you get a pre-schooler to stop hanging on your leg? Pick them up and swing them around – they’ll start clinging to the furniture instead.
Why don’t pre-schoolers get tired? Because they refuel every three minutes!
Why are pre-schoolers like cell phones? You lose them, you panic. But then you realize they’re in silent mode next to you.

Elementary School Jokes

Why don’t elementary school students ever play hide and seek with their parents? Because the parents will actually hide.
How does an elementary school student express their love for vegetables? By using pea-mojis!
Why did the elementary school student bring a ladder to school? Because they wanted to go to high school!

Middle School Jokes

Why was the middle schooler bad at baseball? They preferred catching up with friends instead of catching balls!
How do you get a middle schooler off their phone? Tell them it’s an ancient relic from the 2020s!
Why was the middle schooler’s report card like a constellation? It was full of stars, but the grades seemed light-years away!

High School Jokes

Why did the high schooler go to the school library? Because they heard it was a hotspot for ‘lit’-erature!
How do high school students stay calm during a test? They know that everything will be marked okay in the end!
What do you call a high schooler with a bunch of homework? A work’aholic!

Part 3 - General Parenting Jokes

Mom Jokes

Why don’t moms need bookmarks? Because the correct page is marked with a squashed piece of cereal!
Why do moms always know where to find missing items? Because they’ve mastered the art of “If I find it, you’re in trouble”!
How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, she just holds it in place while the world revolves around her!

Dad Jokes

Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
What’s a dad’s favourite type of car? Anything he doesn’t have to clean food off of!
How do dads organize their jokes? In a dad-a-base!

Parenting Life Jokes

Why did the parent cross the playground? To get to the other slide, and then the swings, and then back to the slide…
What’s a parent’s favourite type of music? Anything that’s not a nursery rhyme!
Why don’t parents play hide and seek with kids in the supermarket? Too tempting to hide in the car and take a nap!